Wedding Song Stories

the story of 'To Unity'

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:36:00 +0000

in honor of the birth of Laura Kate and Andrew's son, here's the story behind the song i wrote for their wedding!

i had the privilege of playing with a great group of musicians while in college and grad school. Casting Shadows was a band that formed from an opportunity i had to record some songs i'd written; when offered the chance to go to the studio, i decided that i needed the help of the worship band i was blessed to lead with, and we ended up writing songs together as Casting Shadows after that session. my friend David Phillippi played bass for CS and laid down a track for WeddingSongs - 'Awake.' Jon Pritchett played electric guitars, and now he is a Doctor (while still shredding guitar with Visio Dei church in Raleigh). Matt Epler played drums, and still plays with me at LiFT and when i get random opportunities to lead worship out and about. Laura Kate Harvey Lupton played keys and sang lead/harmony vocals, and i'm glad that she and her husband are back in the Cary area for a short time before they head to Colombia on mission. Maybe we'll write another few songs together before too long! Part of the Lupton family's call to Colombia is equipping the local church to write and sing songs for worship.

LK gave me the opportunity to write a song for her wedding while i was still pretty new to this wedding-songwriting thing, and i was very grateful to craft something for a close friend.

with LK and Andrew's song, i really began to finalize the types of questions that i ask a couple for whom i'm writing. i like to know how they describe each other - what phrases and key words that come to mind when they think of their future spouse. i also ask how they first met, and if there is a moment they can recall when they first decided that they loved the other... those are often potent memories!

Andrew is a theologian, and they are both very Jesus-centered people (as all Christians are called to be - these two live it out well!). What started to come across to me, particularly from Andrew, was the weight of the gospel that he felt in this process of getting married, and the joy he took in knowing that he was picturing the gospel, and manifesting the image of God by pursuing marriage. This started to sound like very trinitarian language to me, and that got a few thoughts rolling around in my head...

turns out that LK loves the mountains of East Tennessee, and Andrew is a mountain boy, and he actually proposed on a mountainside. I'm pretty sure that's an obvious set up for a song, so i took a cue from this scene and included it in the chorus of the song. The chorus and verses continue on in a fashion that i hope was meaningful to Laura Kate, who was a music major at CU and has music in her soul - the movement of melody, harmony, and unity in music seemed to me to be another picture of the Trinity.

and, LK being a songwriter, i asked her what she had written for/about Andrew and she was gracious enough to lend me the bridge of this song (the last part here), from a poem she had written.

here's the lyrics!

You opened your mouth, and sang of home

I was already singing the same tones

My voice caught in my throat as you showed how you love me

My ears ringing with the melody underneath

The music of these mountains

Is sweeping me away

From melody, to harmony, to unity

So I’ve opened my mouth to sing with you

This harmony draws out a melody more true

I’m surprised by how uniquely I hear both parts

But I feel the deeper resolution in my heart

Together now we sing of this mystery

A symbol of the trinity, unity in our diversity

I in you, and you in me

One voice, one life to glorify one King

The music of these mountains

Is sweeping me away

From melody, to harmony, to unity

I love you not like lighted candles melting at their leisure

But like the fire that heats the stars

which know not quench or darkness

I love you, not by right of merit, deed or birth

I love you by the lavish grace of Him who loved us first

the story of 'Have I Told You'

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 16:15:00 +0000

there are a few songwriters who have been able to make me cry.

Derek Webb, Justin McRoberts, Andrew Peterson, Sanctus Real, Ben Shive, and Andy Gullahorn.

if you have the time, you should definitely check out their music. Derek's song Lover is from Jesus' perspective to us, and it moves me every time. Justin's song Safe, and two of his songs for his father, resonate deeply with me. Andrew Peterson's The Good Confession hit me like a punch to the gut when i was in a period of doubt about my faith. Sanctus Real's Lead Me is a powerful reminder to husbands/fathers that caught me by surprise on their last album, before it was an overplayed radio single. Ben Shive, who tours often with Andrew and Andy, has a mastery of melancholy/reflection in song form, and his The Ill-tempered Klavier was moving as a whole. I'm digging into his new album The Cymbal-Crashing Clouds and the accompanying book of poetry/essay. Andy Gullahorn's songs are a mix of tongue-in-cheek humor with deeply insightful metaphor, and he has the most songs that have moved me to tears, i think - More of a Man, Give it Time, and I Haven't Either, just to name a few.

this is a necessary intro to the story of Have I Told You - a song i wrote for my wife over 2 years ago.

i am heavily influenced by whatever i'm listening to at the time, and these songs by Andy Gullahorn in particular had been weighing heavily on me when it came time to write a song for my wife for our 2nd year of marriage. Give it Time was the most fresh on my mind, and so i was seeking to capture the emotional weight of this song with the combination of the clever way Gullahorn uses personal illustration in the verses of his song...

I really do have a hard time (sometimes) telling my wife how much i love her, and i realized that i never want to go 24hrs without literally saying it to her while also (hopefully) showing her. from this thought process, i arrived at 'have a told you today that i love you,' which i felt like was a pretty strong chorus thought, so i then worked backward to the more 'personal' verse stuff. we were still 'newly-weds,' and Sarah was still in school at CU... so there's some of the context.

i was very pleased with how Sarah responded to this song, and it's probably my favorite song on the album to play.

here's the lyrics:

strange voices greet me as i awake

you forgot to turn of your radio alarm today

a little late, i hear you moving for the door

3 unused outfits spread across the floor...

have i told you today.. that i love you?

piles of dishes greet me as i enter the room

whatever you cooked smells wonderful, and so do you

i don’t mention that the trash can overflows

but i have a habit of telling you things you already know

have i told you today that i love you?

no room to sit, for all your papers, books, and clothes

and you look up at me with a tear drop on your nose

you say you’re overwhelmed, 'sorry it’s a mess'

i say 'come here' and pull you to my chest

have i told you today that i love you?

did i mention that i trust you?

did i mention that i cherish you?

did i mention today how beautiful you are?

have i told you today

have i told you today, i love you.

the story of 'Living'

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 14:07:00 +0000

i have to be careful when i reminisce about college days - i can easily get lost in so many amazing memories and experiences, and before i know it i've been daydreaming for hours about all of the blessings from just a few years ago...

and by blessings, i mean people. one of those blessings is Meg (Welsh) Cordes. Meg is one of those thoroughly beautiful people who makes an immediate impact in your life when you meet her, and makes an immediate impact on a group of people when she is a part of it. She was part of our team of worship leaders at the Campus Crusade for Christ ministry at CU, and she shared her gift of using sign language; this in addition to many other ways that she served her friends and the CU community through Cru, through being an RA, and through being a great friend.

i had just started this crazy idea of writing songs for people getting married when Meg asked me if i would be willing to write one for her wedding. Of course i said i would do my best - but in the back of my mind i had a hesitation - i didn't know her fiance at all! I had not had the chance to meet Jason prior to their engagement, so i quickly realized that i was going to have to approach this song from Meg's perspective - and just to clarify, she is a girl and i am not - so i was in new songwriting territory at the time.

here are the lyrics for 'Living' -

I want to see love alive

In all the ways it’s described

Love that’s stronger than death

Love that covers our sin

To see love alive

As we lay down our lives

In spite of all the words we try

This love is more than what we say

It’s alive

I’m safe when you hold me

Even if you don’t speak that you love me,

I know you do

Now you’re saying aloud you love me,

But your patience, your kindness,

your faithfulness show me you do

Our love is a picture

Of something much bigger than just the two of us

We’re speaking in terms of a love

that we haven’t really known yet, or had a chance to show

We’re speaking these words

that are given to us to pledge to each other

We’re placing this love on our fingers,

and writing it on our hearts

Now we’ll see love alive

In all the ways it’s described

Love through sickness and health

Love that covers our sin

We’ll see love alive

As we become one life

Before all of these witnesses today

This love is even more than what we say

It’s alive

i had a long phone conversation with Meg where i asked her about her now-husband, Jason, and i was able to draw some really great images out of the ways she described Jason, the way she felt about him, and the way she felt about marriage. One of the things that she was most excited about was really being able to live out love in the context of their relationship, and that phrase stuck in my mind - seeing love alive in a relationship. She also spoke of how Jason was already showing his love for her, not just talking about it.

this song was written before i knew my wife well enough to craft a song for her voice (she was just my girlfriend then!), so i hope i pulled off the feminine perspective well, even though it's in a masculine voice :-)

if you've seen love alive in your relationships or marriage, feel free to leave a comment about it!

marriage for life - the story of 'Call it Love'

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Tue, 10 May 2011 18:34:00 +0000

my grandparents have been married over 60 years now... and we'll be celebrating my Gramama's 80th birthday party on Saturday.

in honor of her birthday, i decided i'd share the story behind the last track on WeddingSongs - Call it Love.

here are the lyrics, beautifully penned by my cousin Bethany Hamilton:

can a jewel be found to endure a lifetime,

for longer than an endearing glance?

in a world so dazed by instant pleasure,

can such a treasure be just happenstance?

call it fate... call it chance... call it love

seedlings bloomed season after season

blossoming into a fine bouquet.

how did they know these would flourish

and in turn nourish a new array?

call it sun... call it rain... call it love

call it thrill... call it pain... call it love

none can claim it for his own, yet

neither can he disown the smallest moment

footprints smoothed by relentless tides

while troves of memories hold both smiles and tears

faces thirsty for the present

knowing well-spent was each ebbing year

call it deep... call it clear... call it love

call it faith... call it trust... call it love

call it them... call it us... call it love

I was so grateful that Bethany allowed me to help in the arrangement of this song, and that she allowed us to track it for this album.
Here's how the song came about: the night before the 60th anniversary party, Bethany was hard at work, locked away in the bathroom of my grandparents' home where she could hum through melodies and have just enough silence to work through the song. she wrote the entire thing that evening, and then asked me to arrive a little early to the party so i could learn the guitar parts and accompany her!
Bethany and I have never written or performed together, apart from a hymn at my church a few years back, and i am not a terribly accomplished guitarist, so i was a little overwhelmed at the complexity of the song Bethany had written. She has her master's degree in vocal performance, and she specializes in jazz, so she knows her stuff - i was definitely the padawan to her Jedi mastery of songwriting that day. Thankfully, she had dumbed it down enough for me to figure it out pretty quickly, and we pulled it off, performing the song after about 15minutes of rehearsal in another room of the restaurant where the party was happening. fun times!
before Bethany went to study in Scotland, i asked her if we could track the vocals for the song - thankfully, we got everything we needed before she left NC, and from that point we could take our time working it out. the more i thought about it, i realized that it would be fun to change this into a duet, and i knew for sure that i'd need help on guitars, so i began to take some liberties with the amazing piece that Bethany had written.
i tracked my vocals, then i invited the inimitable Rick Hinson into the studio to lay down some jazz riffs to accentuate what was happening in the song. Bethany also wrote out a cello part, and of course my favorite cellist happens to be Melinda McKee. after we tracked everything, the magic of the internet helped us share the mixes with Bethany until we arrived at a mix that everyone was happy with. i'm so grateful that she is my cousin!

i feel like Bethany's song was a fitting one to end the album, because she captures the passage of time so well in her lyrics. My grandparents have surely had their marital struggles, battles, arguments, etc. They chose to commit to each other in the sight of God and witnesses over 60 years ago, however, and they have followed through on their commitment. My grandmother loves my grandfather deeply, and i draw strength from that marriage as i consider my own wife (and the baby in her belly).

what has been the most inspiring marriage in your life?

catching up

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 19:55:00 +0000

unfortunately, life has ways of catching up with me.

i have learned to love planning things out... but now, even if i've got something planned WAY in advance and i have a good idea how i'm going to take steps to get there, something usually happens to bring the rest of life's circumstances rushing in to crowd me out.

i had a pretty great vision for how i was going to progress this blog through the WeddingSongs album, telling each story in turn... but being a director for creative arts at a local church and a leader of music every Sunday requires a bit of time, and being a good husband (my first priority) requires a bit of time as well.

i'm definitely still learning how to balance all of this, and although life certainly caught me over the winter months, i'm going to press on and plan out how to keep the stories happening here, and keep the story happening in my family, as well.

my first wedding song

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 16:15:00 +0000

i just realized that my cousin Heather's wedding may have been the first time i sang in a wedding! so in a way, i owe it to her and her awesome husband Burt for getting me started 14 years ago in the process of singing/writing for weddings...
congrats to them on their anniversary, and thanks for setting a trajectory for me!
i can't really recall what song i sang, though... if anyone remembers, comment and let me know :-)
what i do remember, though, is that the wedding was in a little country church, White Memorial Presbyterian Church in Willow Spring... most of my ancestors are buried out there, and i grew up going to 'homecoming' and family reunion events out there, so it's also appropriate that i started singing in weddings there...

the story of 'Here and Now'

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 16:23:00 +0000

i had the pleasure of sharing a cubicle space with Lisa (Dean) Williams while we were both graduate assistants for Student Life at Campbell University. Our days in the cubicles were kept lively by the great people we worked with (Mrs. Debbie, TMN, Jennifer, George, Mrs. Mullins, etc), and i never complained about sitting back there when everyone was in... if i was by myself, though, that was one sad cubicle. I'l never forget some of the ways we decorated each other's spaces (for birthdays, for fun)
I also had the pleasure of watching Josh Williams play football (he was the quarterback, of course) at WCA when we were in high school, and seeing him around the community as we both went to college.
Little did I know that these two had known each other the whole time - i knew them separately, but the Duncan/Lillington/Fuquay area is pretty interconnected when you get right down to it, so i suppose i shouldn't have been at all surprised!
So not long after i'd written 'Awake' for Caleb and Adrienne, Lisa - who has always been a supporter of my songwriting - asked if i would write a song for their wedding as well. I was very, very honored to write for Lisa, and i realized that this would be a very different kind of songwriting experience than writing for Caleb...
I met with Lisa and Josh, then emailed them a couple times, seeking to get into their heads about what their relationship had been like, what getting married meant to them, how they would describe each other, etc. I also asked where the song would be in the service, where the wedding would be held, and what kind of musical style they might like.
I was struck by something that Lisa said at one point... she told me that they had been friends for almost 10 years, and their friendship had always been consistent, even when they were dating other people and figuring things out the 'hard way.' She felt as if they were best friends, but that the phrase 'best friends' wasn't the right way to put it, wasn't strong enough... so, i used those sentiments to begin the verses, with the chorus pointing out that Josh's faithfulness to their friendship was a very meaningful truth for Lisa:

Best friends

What an overused phrase

True love

What does that mean these days?

You could say

That I’d be jaded by now

But you have proved to me

That somehow

There’s love here

There’s love now

In the midst of two broken hearts

There’s real love here and now

Faithful

For more than a decade

And more to come

You’re proving today

Freely

I choose to love you

All this time,

And no one’s touched my heart

Like you do

knowing Lisa like i did, and having a seat beside her every workday, i felt safer taking her perspective for this song, but i think that Josh could empathize with it as well.

Lisa pointed out in one conversation how they had both been in other relationships between dating in high school and then dating before marriage, and clearly all of those relationships had ended, some painfully, and she was thinking about the fact that though their hearts had been broken, even by each other, she knew that Josh loved her. She also asked that i point out in the song that Christ is central to their marriage, for the non-Christians who might come to the wedding, so i tied that in during the bridge:

And I pray that God will love you through me

I want to share in love that’s never-ending

Through faith in Christ, God’s only Son

Our hearts, our souls, our lives become one

The musical style i went with, again knowing Lisa like i did, was a kind of country-folky feel... i wanted something that would appeal to the fact that Lisa is a southern lady, and would be a different kind of song than 'Awake' had been. since then, i've really gotten sucked into folksy songwriting, and i think that a lot of that began with 'Here and Now.'

i wrote this song many years ago, and have been working on getting it recorded for at least 3 years, so i am very grateful to have it done and for Lisa and Josh to finally have a version of my wedding gift that they can keep :-)

iTunes!

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:07:00 +0000

WeddingSongs is now on iTunes - tell your friends :-)

even if you don't buy it on iTunes (if you are waiting for physical discs, or bought it off CDBaby), take a moment to leave a review, if you'd be so kind!

the story of 'Awake'

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 20:03:00 +0000

i met Caleb during my freshman year of college - he was limping down the hall with some crutches. turns out he was on the soccer team, and had broken his ankle in one of his first matches, and he was limping to a room right across the hall.

thus began a friendship that has spanned 11 years - a friendship that is significant for both of us. we have personalities that complement each other... he is structured, concrete, analytical - i am artsy, flaky, and emotionally intuitive.

it has been a huge blessing to me to have someone who can be objective about me and my junk, because it puts things in perspective where i can begin to make changes - i hope that each of you reading this can claim a friendship that helps you grow as much as Caleb's friendship has helped me in our journey.

I knew Adrienne separately from Caleb, and when they began dating it was a little like two circles of friendships colliding into a pretty interesting kaleidoscope. She is the more artistically inclined of the two, even though she worked in the structured IRS environment after college!

i'm not really sure what prompted me, but at some point around the time Caleb asked me to be one of his Best Men, i suggested that i could/would write a song for their wedding, to which Caleb readily agreed. by the time he agreed, i was already asking myself, "what did i just do...?"

in order to write 'Awake,' i had to get into Caleb's head. as mentioned earlier, we are pretty different when it comes to thought process, personality, etc... which i later realized was to my advantage. Caleb had no idea how to describe how he felt to Adrienne, and i was ALL about describing feelings - so i spent some time listening to him and reflecting on what he was saying about the thoughts/emotions he had about getting married to Adrienne.

I’m standing here

More awake than I’ve ever been

At least the shake in my hands tells me that much

You’ve just walked in

And I swear I’m in that dream again

The one where I'm standing here, the music plays, and you walk in

To Caleb, there was such a surreal vs. real tension going on - marriage was really happening, it was going to really affect his real life, and every day would be different from now on; and yet, it hadn't really sunk in all the way, it still seemed like some sort of dream while they were in the planning stages and during engagement.

But you’re more beautiful

Than all that I’ve dreamed

Surpassing anything that I’ve ever seen

You’re more beautiful right now

Than ever before in my dreams

Caleb expressed to me that he was relying on God to teach him and show him how to deeply love Adrienne, and i thought that should be a key line in their song, so it made it into the second verse. I also thought that the real, tangible ring on his finger would go a long way to reminding him of the real, tangible commitment he made, so i found a way to work that into the verse and bridge.

On this day

As God’s presence stills my hands

I pray that He will show me how to love you

Every new day

With this ring still on my hands

I’ll wake with you and live this dream through

Truly Awake

With this ring

With this kiss

I will awake to find

i've had the chance to record this song 3 times - once as a demo, once on the Resistance, and now on WeddingSongs, and it's still not old to me. like i mentioned before, it's the song i've played most off this record, because it resonates with so many people, especially men who may or may not be like Caleb when it comes to articulating how they feel :-) if i've played this song in your wedding, leave a comment - and spread word that the song is available for download through CDBaby, and soon to be on iTunes.

You’re more beautiful

Than all that I’ve dreamed

Surpassing anything that I’ve ever seen

You’re more beautiful right now

Than ever before in my dreams

a new story

noreply@blogger.com (David) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:43:00 +0000

i have to give credit where it is due - my friends Ashley and David @ Storyphotographers are responsible for planting the idea in my mind for using the word "story" to shape the wedding songs project you're about to explore, and you should definitely visit their site to see the way that they have captured and tell stories in their medium.

my tool is s o n g w r i t i n g, and for each individual song i write, there is a greater context, a larger story. but within each song, i try to tell a story, if only a small part of the grander narrative.

the WeddingSongs album that has just released (soon to be available on iTunes, currently available for download on CDBaby) is a collection of songs/stories i've written over the past few years, but the song itself is only one small story - i will use this space to give a better picture of the larger story behind each song.

check out the fellow storytellers page to see who has helped me along so far, and check the following stories to see a glimpse of the power and the mystery that is 'marriage'

i'll be posting the stories over the next few months, so check back for the first story next week - the story behind 'Awake,' the first track on the album!